OK, so I’m not actually going to start my story December 5, 1978. This story is about the time in my life when I really grew up. When I got pregnant with Jared.
Fall 1996, a couple of months shy of my 18th birthday, I moved in with my grandparents.
It was for the best. I was pushing the limits with my step-dad. He was getting physical with me. He couldn’t control himself. For a control freak like him, this was destroying our entire family.
Was I out partying? Doing drugs? Skipping school? Nope. None of the above. I was simply a smart-ass who didn’t know when shut-up. He couldn’t handle disrespect. I could no longer live in a house where I ‘wasn’t following the rules’.
My grandparents lived just around the corner and were happy to have me. What my step-dad would later find out, was that by ‘punishing’ me by kicking me out for not following the rules of the 2 inch leash he had wrapped around my throat for 15 years. I was ‘awarded’ a freedom that I had never experienced before. My grandma bought a new car and gave me her 1985 Toyota Celica. (It was so ugly, but they had kept meticulous care of it. It took me 5 years to destroy it.)
Rules living at grandparents:
1. Keep bedroom and bathroom clean
2. Work and/or go to school full-time
3. Don’t be driving between the hours of 2 am and 6 am (they had a sticker left on the car that authorized the PD to pull it over if seen out between those hours – so they told me that if I couldn’t be home by 2, then try not to come back home until after 6 am. Basically they didn’t want to be woken by the police calling to confirm that I did not steal their car)
That was it. Seriously. It took me a total of 2.5 minutes before I was partying my ass off, losing my virginity, got myself a pager (it was 1996 assholes!) and doing everything the big bad world had to offer. It was GREAT. I finally was catching up on all that I had been missing out on, and MORE. I trying to cram all of the traditional teen experiences in a matter of months.
By January 1997 I was taking a full load of fire science classes at the JC AND working. I had friends, I had money, I had academic challenges. I was happy.
One of these friends, we’ll call him JD, was one of my main sources for the party scene and ‘supplies’. We had a lot of fun together. Part of his appeal to me was the ‘tragic’ life that he had lived. It seemed so dark and dramatic compared to my middle class cookie cutter family. It wasn’t long before he fell head over heels in love with me. I never, not once, ever got to that point with him. Not even close. But how do you stay away from someone who worships you? It was a constant ego-boost. OH! And the fights we would have! They were fabulous! The control I had over him and his emotions was insane. I thrived on that shit. I know that sounds all psycho now…but I was starving for excitement by then. I was a drama junkie…and he provided my drug.
……to be continued
C’mon people! I have spread this out as far as I can! I have 30 freakin days of posts I have to come up with!
But, what are ya thinking right about now? Can you all relate? At least somewhat? Luckily I have grown out of my ‘Drama Mama’ phase…but was THAT normal?
Honestly this is kinda strange actually writing this all out. I am transported back into that time. Experiencing those thoughts and emotions. I was a stupid little girl. My world was so extremely small that I didn’t allow myself to venture out and experience more of the world. Of the REAL world.
Stay tuned for more tomorrow. MWAH!