Monthly Archives: August 2009

My Very Last ‘First’

Here we are, the night before school starts and Leah requests to watch some old home videos. How ironic it is that the one we end up on was taken exactly 5 years ago….the morning of Jareds first day of Kindergarten. The scene is of me walking into Jareds room, singing ‘It’s time to wake up for your very first day of Kindergarten….whoo-hoo!’ He’s sleepy eyed but grinning. The next ten minutes or so we are entertained with me teasing him about him walking around in his underwear, to showing off his Transformers backpack and Soccer Dinosaur lunchbox (which lasted less than a month!) and little 5 month old Leah just observing it all. It was an exciting morning. 

In approximately 10 hours, I will be dropping off Leah for her first day of Kindergarten. My very last ‘First Day of Kindergarten’. Wow. With Jared everything was a ‘first’. With Leah, everything will be the ‘last’. How do I feel about that? I don’t know yet. I will let you know tomorrow when I have no excuse to not blog with 5 hours of emptiness on my hands.

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Smile, Nod and Ignore.

I am so blessed to have family and friends who put up with all of my bullshit help me keep my priorities in check. The wanderlust has faded, for now. But, I now know that I have people here to listen to all of my big plans and, a favorite work saying: Smile, Nod, Ignore…SNI. It works. Those closest to me know that I go thru these phases every few months. Usually it results in a moderate/major hair change. I almost made it to the stylist this time…luckily for my husband (who absolutely despises when I do ANYTHING to my hair and would pull up stakes and move to Alaska to hunt for ice before wanting me to cut my hair) that wasn’t required this time. 

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The kids have one more week off. School starts the 17th. We have had a great and busy summer, and I’m happy to say that all of us are ready for school to start. I wasn’t feeling that a few weeks ago. Homework, bedtimes, mornings….*shudder* was NOT looking forward to that at ALL. But the tides have turned and money has run out, so time for some free childcare and alone time for mom. Mom has a new project in the works and 5 hours alone in the day on my days off will help tremendously. 

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Jimmy’s birthday is on the 26th and I usually plan a weekend away. This is usually a selfish plan, an excuse for ME to get away. This year, knowing that we are low on $ and Jimmy has been stressing about that, I have resigned to the fact that we would NOT being going anywhere this time. So, I was quite surprised when Jimmy asked me about dates and told me to start planning! WHAT?!?! Well, what it comes down to: he is willing to dish out $200-$500 for his annual ‘Out of Town’ Birthday Lay. I am not kidding you. In fact, a few years ago when we went to Hawaii…

****attention all family members: Please stop reading right now****

….I had agreed to twice a day. FOR TEN DAYS! So, of course I used that to my advantage leading up to our trip. I turned him down reminding him of our ‘plans’. My friend said ‘OMG Stephanie, he is going to make you PAY! You are SO going to suffer! I’m gonna buy you one of those butt donuts, cuz you’re gonna need it!’

We had a great vacation. Jimmy was happy, no butt donut needed.

I still don’t know if we are going to make it out of town yet…but I am sure I can manage a Birthday Lay for him. Maybe even two. 

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Since this is the last week of summer vacation, I am hoping to do one last thing with them tomorrow. I have been wanting to go to the Children’s Discover Museum in San Jose all year, so hopefully we can manage to get out there after Jimmy plugs in a few hours of work in the morning. I will be sure to take lots of pics, I noticed I’ve been slackin’ in the photo department lately so I’ve gotta OD you all again so you don’t forget what we look like. 🙂

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Wanderlust

Wanderlust: [won-der-luhst]

-noun

a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about

This is what I have. Or, this is what has me. What is a 30-something year old,  full time working, happily married,  mother of two supposed to do with this? I have lived in the same town for 6 1/2 years (after moving 11 times in the previous 5 years). I have been in the same job for almost 8 years. So this Sagittarius is getting restless. My husband has supported my desires to travel with and without the family. Because of my job, I am very lucky to have the funds at least once or twice a year to wander. However, I am afraid that this current itchy feet syndrome is something bigger than a vacation desire. We have tossed around the idea for years on moving out of state. The whole nation is having problems, but California is INSANE…and only getting worse. Just this morning I am FUMING after filling out the required school papers for my kids. Do NOT request that I provide supplies that are normally provided by the school while you send me, not only duplicates of everything since I have TWO children going to the same school, but also duplicates of EVERYTHING in SPANISH! So, how much $$ is wasted on THAT? I also had 3 pieces of paper EACH for if my child needs to take medication at the school. Let me get this straight?…You need 3 forms filled out and signed with permission from me AND a physician so my son can have an aspirin, but this same state will allow a 12 yr old child to have an abortion without even notifying the parents. What. The. Fuck?!?! Most of my friends and family have heard me vent about this shit, but still….just pisses my shit off to no end. Do you see the draw for me to move?

I am also level-headed enough to know that there are problems everywhere and moving is not necessarily the answer. My husband has encouraged extensive discussions with me for the past week weighing the pros and cons but I’m afraid that what it comes down to is my need for change. I’m bored. When I look at the big picture, I am fully aware that I would be leaving the best job I’ve ever had, pulling my children away from family and friends and requiring my husband to start over at 44 years old. I do not want to do that. My desire for my family to be happy and secure is stronger than my desire to roam.

‘Write a book’ says my author friend. ‘Write a romance novel. I did and *I’m* not bored’

Oh yeah…THAT would be a GREAT read:

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who married her prince charming. However, after a couple of years she got bored and decided to leave him and move to another Kingdom with a livelier night life. She had a hot and steamy affair with her landscaper *wink wink*. But the princess got bored again and moved to the New York Kingdom and got a job as an editor to a top-selling magazine. Looking out her floor to ceiling windows towards Central Park one day, she realizes she BORED again and starts looking for work in the Ireland Kingdom….

Oh my gawd. It would be the NEVER ENDING romance novel! There would be NO ‘Happily Ever After’ because she would always think there is something else that she might be missing out on. Yeah – so scratch the book idea…..

Just for the record, I am 5000% happy in my marriage and my ‘boredom’ does not stem from THAT front. So, what IS it then? Why am I like this? What can I do to quench this desire without shaking up the content lives of my family?

*sigh* So, that’s what I’ve been up to lately. 🙂

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Bedtime Stories

So, Leah has been doing fairly well with sleeping in her own bed. Only a few times that we had to walk her back into her own room, but for the most part – she’s doing better than expected.

The other night I had to go to bed early so I asked Jimmy to make sure she was in bed by 9:30. I found out the next day that they both fell asleep on the couch and he just carried her to bed. So last  night we talked about training her to actually fall asleep in her own bed. Carrying her to bed after falling asleep somewhere else is defeating the purpose. So at about 9, I got her started on brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, etc. She was already so exhausted from her busy day so she of course went into hysterics.

Sobbing and brushing her teeth:

Leah: WAAAHHHHHH *brush brush* *spit* WAAHHHH I don’t want to go to bed!!!!!!! WAAHHHHH

Stephanie: You are soooo tired and it’s time for bed for ALL of us.

Leah: WAAAHHHH *brush brush* *spit* WAAAHHH But MOM! I’m going to be SO LONELY!!!!

Stephanie: *shaking my head* Leah, you need to go to bed by yourself, it’s just part of going to sleep.

Leah: WAAAAAHHHH……But YOU’RE not going to be LONELY!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie *supressing laughter*

Only a few more minutes of crying later and she was in dreamland and hadn’t woken up by the time I left the house at 5 this morning. I think she will be a ‘Lonely Sleeper’ Pro by the time school starts.

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