So I have been asked by two separate people so far (I’m sure my mom would be the 3rd if she had done this) to take on the daunting chore task of exposing 10 truths about myself. This was actually brought up a few days ago and since those two ( Alicia & Kristin ) have disclosed some personal truths, I am forced to dig deep and find things that I don’t usually share. I have to admit, this is a difficult task since I am seriously an open book with most people. What you see is what you get. Well, here’s what I could come up with.
1. The big issue preventing us from having a 3rd child is my husbands age. There are of course other issues that would make it difficult, but the fact is that Jimmy and I have never had a time without kids. I came into the marriage with Jared and we are looking forward to enjoying our later years together. Having another one now would mean he or she wouldn’t be out of the house until Jimmy was in his 60’s. Sometimes I feel shallow about this, but I also know that we are now able to give Jared and Leah everything they need and most of what they want – another child would stretch us thinner.
2. I *HATE*, with a passion, witnessing animals having sex. I am far from prude and I can handle most ‘gross’ things. But animal sex (no matter what species) is the nastiest thing EVER! The fact that this shit is on TV and people actually watch it, by CHOICE, is disgusting! **shudder**
3. Sometimes I fantasize about an injury or illness that will land me in the hospital for at least a week. So I can rest. This injury or illness would also result in at least 2-3 months off from work. So I can rest. Let me just admit that I have never spent time in the hospital other than delivering my babies – but in MY fantasy, I would receive only glorious peace and quiet and nurses would NOT be poking and prodding me every 15 minutes and my hair and make-up would look perfect when people came to visit during the ‘visiting hours’ of 1:15-2:00. So I can rest.
4. I wish I had more pictures of me when I was younger. Especially my teen years. I was too shy and embarrassed. When a camera came out, I disappeared. I regret that. I still don’t like taking pics, but I try to get more and more in since I know that I will appreciate it in the future. I also over-do it with the kids and I won’t let them hide when they are teenagers.
5. Because I come from a family (on both sides) of alcoholism and drug addiction, I hate that I second guess myself when I have a glass of wine or a beer. Am I having this as a mature, responsible adult who wants to unwind? Or am I an alcoholic waiting to consume who I am and destroy everything around me? My mind is usually put at ease after going out with friends (on the rare occasion) and it is proven that I am quite a lightweight and I am good to stop after a max of 2 drinks (with the exception of 1 or 2 times in as many years). It sucks to feel like I have to defend myself and my decisions to myself!
6. To travel more is my dream. To travel the world. To experience different cultures and environments. But I want to travel in comfort so that limits my opportunities due to lack of funds. I promise myself tho that I will at least make a trip to Ireland, if I go nowhere else other than to Ireland, I will be happy.
7. I was molested when I was 5 years old. My daughter is 5 years old. Flashbacks are not fun.
8. Sometimes I wish I had more girlfriends, but I don’t have the time to maintain quality friendships. My ‘best’ friends were made at work, I have a difficult time starting friendships with the local moms. It’s really hard for me to fit in with them and I sometimes feel like I am not myself when I try. I am thankful for the few close friends I *do* have and those that I am able to call after months of no contact and pick up where we left off.
9. I have long wished that I could get away with a pixie cut. Pixie cut, dyed black, with an eyebrow ring and a tatoo on the back of my neck. One day….
10. I have ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life’ from the Annie Soundtrack on my Ipod. I LOVE that song and I LOVE that movie! My dad used to call me Annie.
Whew! That was too much, huh?! Well, I did it! I actually came up with some things that most of you did not know. So, I either scared the shit of you or you will be able to relate to at least a few of those things……